No, not Chapter 4 of Star Wars...lol...
In a recent post I mentioned that I was out of work, well, after a phone call this morning, things are now looking up. I have been offered a position with a large energy supply company on their sales and conversion teams. We're hoping that this could be the beginning of a run a good luck and fortune for us and that we can now look forward to things coming good for us at last.
I'll say one thing, it has taken a massive amount of stress out of our lives, the feeling of relaxation is almost palpable, there's not so many cross words or ill feelings. It just generally feels so much better.
Anyroads, that's my update for today, I hope everyone else out there is having good luck and good feelings given to them, thanks again for reading, good luck and good times to you all...
Thursday, 24 February 2011
Monday, 21 February 2011
Something to lighten the mood
I found this earlier today and thought I would post it...
Why Men Can't Win.
If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, it's exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your ass and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her, it's favouritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.
If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.
If you cry, you're a wimp.
If you don't, you're insensitive.
If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist pig, you bastard.
If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination.
If she asks you, it's a favour.
If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain.
If you don't, you're a slob.
If you buy her flowers, you're after something.
If you don't, you're not thoughtful.
If you're proud of your achievements, you're an egotist.
If you're not, you're not ambitious.
If she has a headache, she's tired.
If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore, and you must be sleeping around.
Why Men Can't Win.
If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, it's exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your ass and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her, it's favouritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.
If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.
If you cry, you're a wimp.
If you don't, you're insensitive.
If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist pig, you bastard.
If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination.
If she asks you, it's a favour.
If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain.
If you don't, you're a slob.
If you buy her flowers, you're after something.
If you don't, you're not thoughtful.
If you're proud of your achievements, you're an egotist.
If you're not, you're not ambitious.
If she has a headache, she's tired.
If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore, and you must be sleeping around.
Stress, Who Wants Some?
I didn't mention before, but right before Christmas (Christmas Eve to be precise) I lost my job. Never a good thing to happen and especially worse as we live in a depressed area of the country, during one of the worst recessions on record. Obviously, this has caused much stress and angst between myself and Boney. However, Boney has taken the situation pretty well, considering.
Last Wednesday, we got the good news that I would be getting a new job, for a large national energy supplier, selling their product. As part of the induction, training and accreditation that's required for the job, I have to go away for a week on a residential course. This was given a mixed reaction by Boney. I have no idea why...
During the ensuing days that have now passed since the news, her behavior has gotten pretty strange, to say the least. Today for example, she kicked off because I hadn't cleaned the bathroom in the same way as she would have done, this then descended into an argument encapsulating all the issues that I have mentioned here on the blog, but also problems from many years ago, back when we were first dating! The thing that has also grated, is the fact the fact that we've been stressed has completely put family planning squarely on the back burner. It's been a nightmare. We know that for us to be able to join the legions of happy couples who have children, we need to be able to make that time for one another. But when life throws a curve like we had in December, it puts a massive spanner in the works.
We know that we're in a strong bond with one another, because even after all the recent downs we have had, we are still committed to one another. But maybe in reality, we should actually be committed...lol...
But seriously, I know there are others out there who have and are going through the same issues as we are, so I have a question to any of you who are reading my ramblings, how did you/are you coping with the problems that these things throw at you?
Last Wednesday, we got the good news that I would be getting a new job, for a large national energy supplier, selling their product. As part of the induction, training and accreditation that's required for the job, I have to go away for a week on a residential course. This was given a mixed reaction by Boney. I have no idea why...
During the ensuing days that have now passed since the news, her behavior has gotten pretty strange, to say the least. Today for example, she kicked off because I hadn't cleaned the bathroom in the same way as she would have done, this then descended into an argument encapsulating all the issues that I have mentioned here on the blog, but also problems from many years ago, back when we were first dating! The thing that has also grated, is the fact the fact that we've been stressed has completely put family planning squarely on the back burner. It's been a nightmare. We know that for us to be able to join the legions of happy couples who have children, we need to be able to make that time for one another. But when life throws a curve like we had in December, it puts a massive spanner in the works.
We know that we're in a strong bond with one another, because even after all the recent downs we have had, we are still committed to one another. But maybe in reality, we should actually be committed...lol...
But seriously, I know there are others out there who have and are going through the same issues as we are, so I have a question to any of you who are reading my ramblings, how did you/are you coping with the problems that these things throw at you?
Tuesday, 15 February 2011
Another One!
I went onto my Facebook account yesterday evening and got a shock. Someone else that I know, who recently got married has fallen pregnant! It's knocked my confidence again. I feel so bad because each time someone else I know falls, it reminds me of the fact that I'm the key reason for our not falling. It makes me feel like so much less of a man, all because my sperm count is so low. I just feel like I'm letting my beautiful wife down, because I can not give her what we both desire.
I'm hoping that in the very near future, things will improve on my part. Here's to hoping.
I'm hoping that in the very near future, things will improve on my part. Here's to hoping.
Wednesday, 12 January 2011
Just A Few Words
Hi there, Gentle Reader...
I'm going to make no bones about this, our journey is having it's fair share of bumps along the way. If I earned a pound for the arguments caused when friends told us they were expecting, I wouldn't have to work, it's not that we dislike our friends being happy and knowing they are going to have their family extended by one or two or maybe more, but, the feelings always come back to the reason for our struggle, me!
Yesterday and the night before were a prime example, a couple we are friends with have recently been blessed with the birth of their first baby, which brings up the feelings, that anyone in the same position as us already knows. So the emotional conversation starts again, regarding issues around me and Boney, then, eventually, the main issue is finally raised, my weight! I know I have got to lose weight for my health and also to attempt to increase my greatly depleted counts, however, I find it hard to cope emotionally, so find myself finding solace in the bottom of the bread bin, biscuit tin, yogurt pot or any other food related location. It's basically emotional eating and it's doing me NO DAMN GOOD!!!
Now, however, in 2011, I am going to knuckle down and try to crack this. If you happen to read this, please, feel free to either encourage, berate, banter or any other comments you may feel like putting. Sometimes this quest can feel so lonely, although it's a path walked together (somewhat of a philosophical finish there, I think you may agree...)
I'm going to make no bones about this, our journey is having it's fair share of bumps along the way. If I earned a pound for the arguments caused when friends told us they were expecting, I wouldn't have to work, it's not that we dislike our friends being happy and knowing they are going to have their family extended by one or two or maybe more, but, the feelings always come back to the reason for our struggle, me!
Yesterday and the night before were a prime example, a couple we are friends with have recently been blessed with the birth of their first baby, which brings up the feelings, that anyone in the same position as us already knows. So the emotional conversation starts again, regarding issues around me and Boney, then, eventually, the main issue is finally raised, my weight! I know I have got to lose weight for my health and also to attempt to increase my greatly depleted counts, however, I find it hard to cope emotionally, so find myself finding solace in the bottom of the bread bin, biscuit tin, yogurt pot or any other food related location. It's basically emotional eating and it's doing me NO DAMN GOOD!!!
Now, however, in 2011, I am going to knuckle down and try to crack this. If you happen to read this, please, feel free to either encourage, berate, banter or any other comments you may feel like putting. Sometimes this quest can feel so lonely, although it's a path walked together (somewhat of a philosophical finish there, I think you may agree...)
Friday, 31 December 2010
Happy New Year (Hopefully)...
Well, here we are at the dawn of a new year, entering into the realms of 2011...
The hopes and dreams of becoming a father are slowly but surely starting to fade away inside of my mind at the moment, I'm losing a battle with my weight and Boney is also having a similar struggle, however, we are determined to make a concerted effort now that 2011 is upon us.
I think the hardest thing for me to accept is the fact that I would find it all but impossible to father a child naturally, it's soul destroying, knowing that the dream you've been nurturing for a couple of years, has been crushed in the words of a consultant. I know I'm not the only man in the world who has been told this news, even on the day that we were informed, however, it felt as though every trial of our journey so far, the ones we'd blamed on time of the month, Boney's hormones or her periods, could all be traced back to one minute detail. I wasn't enough of a man! That's exactly how I'd felt.
In recent weeks, I've been feeling very emotional and I have a strong feeling that it's all tied in with my low count. I felt gutted and destroyed and couldn't bring myself to talk to Boney, as she has her own issues. I also haven't wanted to talk to friends as a lot of them have children of their own, so I feel they can'r relate to my point of view or my current experiences. Mostly I feel frustrated!
I know most of my recent posts have sounded vaguely like rants (ok, not so vaguely) but I don't mean them to..sorry...
Anyroads, happy new year to everybody, take care and until next time, try to stay positive...
The hopes and dreams of becoming a father are slowly but surely starting to fade away inside of my mind at the moment, I'm losing a battle with my weight and Boney is also having a similar struggle, however, we are determined to make a concerted effort now that 2011 is upon us.
I think the hardest thing for me to accept is the fact that I would find it all but impossible to father a child naturally, it's soul destroying, knowing that the dream you've been nurturing for a couple of years, has been crushed in the words of a consultant. I know I'm not the only man in the world who has been told this news, even on the day that we were informed, however, it felt as though every trial of our journey so far, the ones we'd blamed on time of the month, Boney's hormones or her periods, could all be traced back to one minute detail. I wasn't enough of a man! That's exactly how I'd felt.
In recent weeks, I've been feeling very emotional and I have a strong feeling that it's all tied in with my low count. I felt gutted and destroyed and couldn't bring myself to talk to Boney, as she has her own issues. I also haven't wanted to talk to friends as a lot of them have children of their own, so I feel they can'r relate to my point of view or my current experiences. Mostly I feel frustrated!
I know most of my recent posts have sounded vaguely like rants (ok, not so vaguely) but I don't mean them to..sorry...
Anyroads, happy new year to everybody, take care and until next time, try to stay positive...
Thursday, 28 October 2010
Results Day
Well, today Boney and I had to go and see our Consultant at the hospital in regards to our fertility tests.
We got to the hospital in plenty of time, however, the Consultant was running behind schedule (which is nothing unusual, really) and we ended up waiting the best part of an hour past our appointment time. His secretary led us to his office and we sat down and had the usual pleasantries, then we got down to the business of us being there.
The results of the HSG the Boney had gone through and her ultra-sound showed that structurally she was perfectly capable of carrying and her hormonal analysis was obviously fine, as this wasn't even mentioned. Me, on the other hand, that's a totally different story. My sperm count has gone up 25%, to 1.5 million little swimmers, however, that's no where near enough for what we need, so we are now having to head down the assisted conception path on our journey. There is one positive to see from this, at least my sperm count is on the up, as my best mate said.
The method that the Consultant recommended for us, is call ICSI, a form of IVF whereby they use my sperm and Boney's eggs, introduce them in a clinical environment and once they've been fertilised, return them to Boney's womb, in the hope that they'll implant. The only thing that is currently making us wait for this, is that we need to lose weight. Boney needs to have a BMI of 29 or lower before the NHS will consider taking us on. For Boney to reach this goal, she needs to lose a further 4.5 stone, but she is aiming for 5 stone, as this will mean that she has fallen a decent distance below the target weight. I'm going to be pursuing the same sort of loss, if only to be able to run around after my own child, as and when they come along, and also the be able to keep up with my god-daughter once she's up and running around.
This part of the journey is going to be as rough as all hell, but with determination and power of will, we WILL succeed. Feel free to post any and all encouragement that you wish, I know there are days ahead when I'm going to need this support of those other than my beautiful Boney and she too will be the same I'm sure.
Thank you for reading and good luck to you on your journeys, where ever they may take you...
We got to the hospital in plenty of time, however, the Consultant was running behind schedule (which is nothing unusual, really) and we ended up waiting the best part of an hour past our appointment time. His secretary led us to his office and we sat down and had the usual pleasantries, then we got down to the business of us being there.
The results of the HSG the Boney had gone through and her ultra-sound showed that structurally she was perfectly capable of carrying and her hormonal analysis was obviously fine, as this wasn't even mentioned. Me, on the other hand, that's a totally different story. My sperm count has gone up 25%, to 1.5 million little swimmers, however, that's no where near enough for what we need, so we are now having to head down the assisted conception path on our journey. There is one positive to see from this, at least my sperm count is on the up, as my best mate said.
The method that the Consultant recommended for us, is call ICSI, a form of IVF whereby they use my sperm and Boney's eggs, introduce them in a clinical environment and once they've been fertilised, return them to Boney's womb, in the hope that they'll implant. The only thing that is currently making us wait for this, is that we need to lose weight. Boney needs to have a BMI of 29 or lower before the NHS will consider taking us on. For Boney to reach this goal, she needs to lose a further 4.5 stone, but she is aiming for 5 stone, as this will mean that she has fallen a decent distance below the target weight. I'm going to be pursuing the same sort of loss, if only to be able to run around after my own child, as and when they come along, and also the be able to keep up with my god-daughter once she's up and running around.
This part of the journey is going to be as rough as all hell, but with determination and power of will, we WILL succeed. Feel free to post any and all encouragement that you wish, I know there are days ahead when I'm going to need this support of those other than my beautiful Boney and she too will be the same I'm sure.
Thank you for reading and good luck to you on your journeys, where ever they may take you...
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