Emotional...

Hi, Boney can't stop dictating for me to type...

I just want to say, how lucky and privileged I feel that Mutt and I are being taken along our journey with the NHS, however, I do feel guilty because I feel p***ed off about the fact that Mutt and I can not just make love to make a baby.

I want to be able to accept the help and advice that we are currently getting and feel good about the progress that we are making, however, I can't stop wishing that our time to become parents will come sooner rather than later. I have to be honest now, we do not know if we need IVF or other "labelled" treatments, but I am really scared, even at this point of not really knowing. I've had to think long and hard about how I, as a woman, may cope with having IVF treatment, from my point of view, Mutt's sperm will be implanted in me and I don't know how I will cope with this whole idea of our assisted conception.

I do REALLY crave a baby with Mutt and feel we could offer him or her unconditional love. I do not want people who read this to think that I am ungrateful for what we are receiving, whatever that happens to be. It's just with me, that I fear the unknown.

Thanks for reading and sharing my thoughts and feelings, lots of love Boney...