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Wednesday, 28 December 2011

The Beginning Of The Climb.

Well, as promised yesterday, here I am with the weight I will begin with...Twenty five stone, six and a quarter pounds. I weighed in at about half eight this morning, then went and had the first of my meal replacement shakes (not as bad as I thought they might be...?). Went through till about twelve and had another one (I wouldn't recommend the chocolate one, not as good as the strawberry one), then had dinner at around six o'clock or so, ended up having half of a pizza, half a garlic bread and half a bag of mix salad, finished off with an apple and two plums. Must remind myself to drink plenty though, as I did forget to keep drinking...oops.
Not too bad for the start, I'd have said, but what do you think?

On a slightly different note, Boney wasn't in the best of moods today, VERY upset. We'd spent some of Christmas over with friends who have a young child, and Boney got upset about that. I try to be supportive, but I can't think of anything to say that can give any comfort and I feel that this must surely antagonise her. However, come this evening, we're back on good terms and chatting about tomorrow and the plans for the next year.

Tuesday, 27 December 2011


Firstly, I am going to apologise for keep taking breaks away from here, life just seems to get in the way and I keep forgetting to pop onto here and vent my spleen.
However, starting from today, I'm going to try and change that! I'm trying to lose weight to try and help our chances, no matter by how little that could be. I will be weighing once a week and then posting onto here and saying if things are going good or bad, also, I will be coming on, hopefully, every day and using this as I had intended, as a journal of the journey that we are going to go through.
I will now take this chance to try and enlighten you a little on my personal history, as I feel my current situation is a kind of full circle on my own personal conception.
I, like all other babies eventually, was a rather expensive child, you could say. I was conceived in a very exclusive postcode up in London, Harley Street to be precise. My parents chose to take their journey to parenthood via the assisted conception route, as my dad had an easily passed on condition and they wanted the best for any child they would have. They chose AID (Artificial Insemination by Donor) as IVF was not available and would not be available until roughly a year after I was conceived. My parents went through the heart ache of trying twice with no success and gave it one last try and as luck would have it, the third time was the charm, as the old adage goes.
My mum and dad decided to tell me of their journey when I was about eleven years old and there happened to be a Horizon program on about AID. They got me to sit down and told me to watch the telly, then after it had finished, they explained to me that was where I'd come from. My response? I just turned around and said, "Well my dad is my dad, can I go out and play, now?" and that to me is what it is, it doesn't matter where your genes come from, the people who raise you are your parents. Their morals, personalities and beliefs shape the person you become, be that a church minister, a car mechanic or a shop assistant.
Sadly, both of my parents have passed away, they were both young, dad being 50, in 1994, and my mum being 53, in 2006, but during their short, but full lives, they instilled in me enough life lessons and kindness to exist far beyond their deaths. I hope, that given the chance to be a dad, I can halfway match what my dad and mum were and are.
So, from tomorrow, I am going to succeed where before I have given in too easily. I intend to do my best and, with some ups and downs, I will get my weight down to something sensible and not so doctor baitingly high. Until tomorrow, when I come back with the horrific hill I have to climb, TTFN...

Sunday, 11 September 2011

It's Been A While

I thought I had better come back to here, so that I can provide some kind of update to those who come to here to see my blog.
Things are moving at a snails pace, sadly, due to the fact that here in the UK it's a requirement of women who require assisted conception need to be of "normal" weight so that they can be treated on the NHS. Boney is not a slender lady and that's the way I love her, but, because of this stipulation, she needs to lose weight for us to be able to move forward. She has made HUGE progress up to this point, she's lost the better part of four stone and kept it off, however, this isn't good enough for the medical experts, who want her to lose a further four stone, so that her BMI is within set parameters. Obviously, this is bloody hard work and I am trying to be a good supporting husband, but sometimes I don't do as well as I should.
We are due to go on a holiday, very soon, so hopefully, the relaxation of this holiday, combined with needing something to work towards, will help us BOTH kick-start a healthier approach and exercise routine for our lives.
If there are those who come here looking for answers or questions, please don't hesitate to ask or give advice. We both like to hear from others, who may well be in a similar situation to us, so that we can network with you and, hopefully, give support and reassurance as and when it's wanted or needed.

Thursday, 24 February 2011

A New Hope...

No, not Chapter 4 of Star
In a recent post I mentioned that I was out of work, well, after a phone call this morning, things are now looking up. I have been offered a position with a large energy supply company on their sales and conversion teams. We're hoping that this could be the beginning of a run a good luck and fortune for us and that we can now look forward to things coming good for us at last.
I'll say one thing, it has taken a massive amount of stress out of our lives, the feeling of relaxation is almost palpable, there's not so many cross words or ill feelings. It just generally feels so much better.
Anyroads, that's my update for today, I hope everyone else out there is having good luck and good feelings given to them, thanks again for reading, good luck and good times to you all...

Monday, 21 February 2011

Something to lighten the mood

I found this earlier today and thought I would post it...

Why Men Can't Win.

If you work too hard, there is never any time for her. 
If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum. 

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, it's exploitation. 
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your ass and find something better. 

If you get a promotion ahead of her, it's favouritism. 
If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity. 

If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment. 
If you keep quiet, it's male indifference. 

If you cry, you're a wimp. 
If you don't, you're insensitive. 

If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist pig, you bastard. 
If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman. 

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination. 
If she asks you, it's a favour. 

If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain. 
If you don't, you're a slob. 

If you buy her flowers, you're after something. 
If you don't, you're not thoughtful. 

If you're proud of your achievements, you're an egotist. 
If you're not, you're not ambitious. 

If she has a headache, she's tired. 
If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore, and you must be sleeping around.

Stress, Who Wants Some?

I didn't mention before, but right before Christmas (Christmas Eve to be precise) I lost my job. Never a good thing to happen and especially worse as we live in a depressed area of the country, during one of the worst recessions on record. Obviously, this has caused much stress and angst between myself and Boney. However, Boney has taken the situation pretty well, considering.
Last Wednesday, we got the good news that I would be getting a new job, for a large national energy supplier, selling their product. As part of the induction, training and accreditation that's required for the job, I have to go away for a week on a residential course. This was given a mixed reaction by Boney. I have no idea why...
During the ensuing days that have now passed since the news, her behavior has gotten pretty strange, to say the least. Today for example, she kicked off because I hadn't cleaned the bathroom in the same way as she would have done, this then descended into an argument encapsulating all the issues that I have mentioned here on the blog, but also problems from many years ago, back when we were first dating! The thing that has also grated, is the fact the fact that we've been stressed has completely put family planning squarely on the back burner. It's been a nightmare. We know that for us to be able to join the legions of happy couples who have children, we need to be able to make that time for one another. But when life throws a curve like we had in December, it puts a massive spanner in the works.
We know that we're in a strong bond with one another, because even after all the recent downs we have had, we are still committed to one another. But maybe in reality, we should actually be
But seriously, I know there are others out there who have and are going through the same issues as we are, so I have a question to any of you who are reading my ramblings, how did you/are you coping with the problems that these things throw at you?

Tuesday, 15 February 2011

Another One!

I went onto my Facebook account yesterday evening and got a shock. Someone else that I know, who recently got married has fallen pregnant! It's knocked my confidence again. I feel so bad because each time someone else I know falls, it reminds me of the fact that I'm the key reason for our not falling. It makes me feel like so much less of a man, all because my sperm count is so low. I just feel like I'm letting my beautiful wife down, because I can not give her what we both desire.
I'm hoping that in the very near future, things will improve on my part. Here's to hoping.

Wednesday, 12 January 2011

Just A Few Words

Hi there, Gentle Reader...
                         I'm going to make no bones about this, our journey is having it's fair share of bumps along the way. If I earned a pound for the arguments caused when friends told us they were expecting, I wouldn't have to work, it's not that we dislike our friends being happy and knowing they are going to have their family extended by one or two or maybe more, but, the feelings always come back to the reason for our struggle, me!
   Yesterday and the night before were a prime example, a couple we are friends with have recently been blessed with the birth of their first baby, which brings up the feelings, that anyone in the same position as us already knows. So the emotional conversation starts again, regarding issues around me and Boney, then, eventually, the main issue is finally raised, my weight! I know I have got to lose weight for my health and also to attempt to increase my greatly depleted counts, however, I find it hard to cope emotionally, so find myself finding solace in the bottom of the bread bin, biscuit tin, yogurt pot or any other food related location. It's basically emotional eating and it's doing me NO DAMN GOOD!!!
   Now, however, in 2011, I am going to knuckle down and try to crack this. If you happen to read this, please, feel free to either encourage, berate, banter or any other comments you may feel like putting. Sometimes this quest can feel so lonely, although it's a path walked together (somewhat of a philosophical finish there, I think you may agree...)